Bad Ideas
by 531441
Summary: While driving back from a job, Nice notices a new Maid Cafe. And the combined effect of warm weather and lack of contact with his best friend, Nice's mind begins to wander to what Art would look like in a maid uniform.


A/N: I didn't expect this to be as long as it is. It was inspired by a pixiv image of Art in a maid uniform, but it looks like that's been taken down, unfortunately. I was waiting and really stalling for time and... this happened. Enough said, thanks for reading.

Oh, yeah. This is more based on Nice's personality in the manga (where 90% of the time he's oggoling well-endowed girls)

* * *

The job had been simple enough. Dull, really. By two in the afternoon Nice and Murasaki were lazily driving back to Café Nowhere, taking in the warm spring weather. The week before had been been a crude mix of unending rain and bitter cold, almost unrecognizable to today's balmy weather. Hajime had burned through all of Nice's food money for the next month on hot chocolate, so he was especially grateful for the quick, well-paying job.

Murasaki was, admittedly, pleased about the pleasant change of temperature himself. He didn't care for dreary weather in general, but the already unpleasant week had been further dampened by Nice's constant, needy calls. Apparently Art had been unavailable, even more than usual, so Nice resorted to calling his partner every other hour. And this, punctuated by unhappy calls from Honey and Ratio about Nice's bothersome tactics, was how Murasaki had spent his previous week.

_"Doesn't he have any other friends?"_ Murasaki thought with exasperation as he pulled up to a red light. He glanced over to his partner, who was leaning out of the open window absent-mindedly.

"Hey, you want to stop here for lunch?" Nice remarked, motioning at the petite restaurant they were waiting in front of, just before Murasaki could open his mouth to scold him.

"Sure, what kind of food is it…!?" Murasaki responded, face twisting with annoyance and shock when he realized what kind of restaurant it was. For all the stupid things Nice had said and done, he shouldn't have been shocked that Nice had suggested they eat at a _Maid Café_. And yet he still was. "_This, is why you don't have any other friends…_" Murasaki thought angrily. But instead he said, "You really miss Art, don't you?"

Nice blinked lazily, leaning farther out the window. "Art, hunh…", he whispered. One of girls they had outside, waving in customers, kind of looked like him. Same kind of haircut, although her hair was an uninteresting shade of brown. Nice had never met anyone with hair as beautiful as Art's. Art was just… perfect. The girl was slender, like Art, and had a delicate, kind look in her eyes. The maid uniform fit her well, tight in all the right places, while leaving an innocent, charming air. The warm air made Nice's mind wander… what would Art look like, in a maid uniform?

He would be embarrassed, definately. He would might tuck some stray hair behind his ear, and would blush a cute shade of pink. Maybe the uniform would have a big bow at the back, just for fun. Maybe the bow would tie the uniform together in the back, for easy access. A lewd grin bloomed Nice's face. Art would look good in a maid uniform, definitely.

A short, bouncy skirt would be necessary, too. If Art ever tripped, the skirt would hike up, and Art had really nice thighs… maids were clumsy sometimes, right? No, Art is too poised to just fall down like that. Still, the image of Art bowing to him elegantly, was pretty fun. Art would call him master, wouldn't he? He could imagine that easily, Art mumbling his name nervously, tugging at the tight dress and short skirt. And Nice would have to correct him, "_That's master Nice,"_, he thought giddily. Maids, they worked in the kitchen sometimes, didn't they? Now Nice was wondering if the shoddy kitchen in his apartment had enough room for.. things. Skirts were a really great invention… it's so easy to—

"Nice, your phone is ringing." Murasaki's disgusted voice broke through his daydream. The serious member of the duo was had been assuming Nice was simply fantasizing about the waitresses. If he ever found out what was really on his Nice's mind, Murasaki would probably melt out of horror. Leaving his partner alone in the car, Murasaki jumped out and marched into Café Nowhere by himself. Nice had been so absorbed in his fantasy that he hadn't even noticed when the car parked.

"Hello?" Nice greeted, having picked up on the last ring. He hadn't even checked the caller ID.

"Yes, it's me, I have the afternoon off, so I was wondering if you would like to… Nice?" Art's melodic voice replied. Nice was sure his heart had just stopped. It was a good thing Murasaki had already left, because Nice's face had turned a bright red.

"Oh, yeah, I- I'm here… you want to get dinner together, or something?" Nice stuttered, glancing at his watch.

"Well, Gasquet is making me leave right now, actually," Art laughed nervously. So _that's_ how it was. "Are you busy, right now?"

"No, we just finished up a job. You want to go get something to eat?" Nice re-read the time. It was still in the lunch hour, and he was almost certain Art hadn't eaten something beforehand, anyway.

"Yes, that would be excellent. I know a place with wonderful crêpes… actually, I always pick where we eat, is there anywhere you would like to go?"

Nice paused, weighing his options. When he had suggested the Maid Café to Murasaki, his partner merely rolled his eyes, but if he suggested something like that to Art, he would probably get a lecture. Still, it might be worth it, if it could give Art the idea of…

On second thought, Art would almost certainly threaten to arrest him if he proposed _that_.

"Nah, you have good taste in restaurants… where was that crêpes place? I'll meet you there."


End file.
